Revenge of the blonds
So... I was getting some funny notes from some of you people who are forgiven regarding my pure love to my new hair color. You know, I've never been intentionally blond (the Sun In accident doesn't count), and I thought the (much blond-er than me) owner of the salon was being cute telling me how she wards off the jokes - but I didn't think it would come at me so quickly, or what effect that would have on me. Hmm... So what is this blond going to do about it? Have a blog contest, of course.
Give me your best blond joke. That's right, I'm ready to take it like a woman. Leave me a comment with your joke (and some way of getting in touch) until midnight Sunday, and we'll see who's got the upper hand. Tell me as many as you want, because the best one takes the jackpot. The only rule - no sex/porn/fart jokes please. That's just gross.
Now give me your worst, come on!
And since Somewhat is still an inch and a half from finishing, here's some Suki cuteness for you.
Labels: Life etc.
posted by Michal Wright-Ward @ 9:51 AM
5 Comments:
Being a blond myself, I've heard them all! So, here's my favorite:
A blond calls up her friends and says, "You've got to come over and help me with this jigsaw puzzle. I saw it in the store and couldn't resist. It's a picture of a tiger. But I've tried and tried and I'm getting nowhere." So, the friend goes over to her house and looks at the picture on the box and looks at the pieces scattered on the table and says, "Honey, that's a box of Frosted Flakes!"
dswaite@mac.com
Aligator shoes
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.
She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand.
Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank.
Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement.
Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back. Frustrated, she shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
How do you drown a submarine filled with blonds?
....
Knock on the door
Hey, not only is this a blonde joke, but it's a knitting blonde joke!
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the
trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled,
"PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
A ventriloquist was at a show where the puppet told a lot of blonde jokes. All of a sudden, a blonde woman on the audience gets up and says, very angry:
« I cannot believe you are all laughing at these obnoxious jokes built on prejudice! You would never tell such a joke about black people, or any physical-appearance based group, why do you find it fair to have fun at the expense of blondes? And I expect an apology from the one who has been telling the jokes. »
Total silence. The ventriloquist starts speaking:
« You know, it was not my intention to be offensive in any way... »
The blonde interrupts: « Not you, I want an apology from the offensive little guy in your lap ».
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